Armadillos in the 'Hood

As Jack and I headed out for a short visit with Mom and Dad yesterday afternoon, two buzzards were in the middle of the road, feasting on the remains of a smashed armadillo. We didn't have to slow down or look twice to know what it was - the pieces of upturned shell and prehistoric-looking tail require only a glance to anyone who has ever seen a dead armadillo. 

I've never taken a photo of an armadillo, so here's my take on an illustration of one.

We knew they were coming. Like fire ants, what once was a resident of the bottom half of the southern tier of the United States has been steadily moving north over the last decade, and now Middle Tennessee is officially "armadillo country." 

While we haven't seen a live one, we've spotted roadkill "possum on the half shell" in this region for a few years now. The first one was thirty miles southwest of here, but since then, we've seen them in the Smithville city limits and as close to home as the Shiny Rock community. This one was fifty feet from the corner of our yard. 

I don't know much about armadillos other than that they carry leprosy and can do more damage to a garden than a family of machete-wielding raccoons. Considering what kind of havoc the raccoons and squirrels have caused in Lucia and Beatrice's little garden at the farm, I shudder to think what will happen when large, armored marsupials (are armadillos marsupials? I must google...) move into the neighborhood.

Hopefully the population will stay manageable, and local gardeners won't have to resort to spending their nights on backyard stake-outs with armadillo guns in hand.

The clip is from the movie "Bernie," starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, and Matthew McConahghey. It's available streaming from Netflix and is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.